Realizing that practical steps matter, most often they want tips or steps they can take to build their relationship in Christ. (Protip: this last one is definitely not a winning approach.) At that point, one of the first things I usually tell them is that there's really no “biblical theology” of dating tucked away the book of 4:5-20. This can actually become a problem, especially because you're not actually married.
There are some rather obvious tips like praying for each other in your daily devotions, encouraging each other to read the Scriptures, setting appropriate boundaries (emotional, spiritual, and so on), and pursuing sexual holiness. These devotions together can develop into a couple-centered spirituality that begins to replace the church-centered relationship with God that the New Testament actually prescribes.
But these good, God-honoring desires have been, by and large, unfulfilled. At times, I’ve felt overlooked and like I was missing out on all the fun of dating.Finally, we need to hear an outside word that we can't quickly rationalize, twist, distort, or ignore. If your relationship becomes the center of their faith, the main and only encouragement they have in Christ, something has gone wrong. All four stand on their own as solid reasons to be committed to gathering (and being a member of) a local body.Who is there to support and encourage when you're having a bad day, or when your relationship needs a check because it's gone off the rails into sin? Even the best married couples need other, godly voices speaking wisdom, conviction, comfort, and healing grace into their lives. Whether you're a Baptist, Anglican, or Presbyterian, you want to be regularly reminded that Christ alone is the source of spiritual life—he died, rose again, and our union with him is the only true food for your soul. Yet all four play an important function with respect to your relationship to each other.Henry Cloud and John Townsend, clearly noted the confusion which resulted from so many mixed messages floating around churches, college campuses, and other Christian young adult circles.So this book addresses the common missteps in dating due to a lack of appropriate boundaries, as well as establishes the good benefits that result from healthy dating relationships, whether or not these relationships lead to the marriage altar.Skeptical about the possibility of lifelong love, they readily list downsides to marriage.