You can—and should—delight in the heart-pounding giddiness of love. But if you want the whole thing to last, then you need friendship, too. Think of your own good friends, the ones who have your back, the ones who are there for you, no matter what.The ones you can tell anything to and the ones you would do anything for. Remembering times your friend was there for you brings tears to your eyes. A key here is the word “mutual.” Friendship has to be a two-way street.I get a good amount of emails, texts, DM’s and Facebook messages from people asking me to address their specific relationship issues on this blog, and since I use to answer a lot of questions on here back in the day, I figured there is no time like the present to revisit answering relationship questions.Today, we tackle a topic that MANY women often wonder about, yet receive FAR too many mixed messages from men to formulate a clear understanding of what we truly want: How can a woman build a solid relationship with a man built on genuine friendship WITHOUT ending up in the friend zone?
Of course, we should consistently try to be these things as often as humanly possible, but the fact of the matter is that we are all going to have bad days. Life throws us curveballs – and expecting a shining exterior every second of every day is not only unrealistic, but it is also dishonest. How are you going to survive your 4-hour drive in the car together? We need this type of comfort to just be able to sit with each other in silence and not feel a nagging urge to say or do something to break the silence. It’s not like you are going to choose a random person off the street – but what’s more is that your friends know how you think and you know how they think.
Researchers have demonstrated that that heart-pounding feeling of being in love is driven by norepinephrine, which is chemically related to adrenaline.
Researchers have pinned down the chemicals that flow in our brains and bodies when we have that rush of romantic excitement. A psychologist in York, England, had subjects who were complete strangers follow this protocol: They told each other intimate details of their lives for half an hour and then were directed to stare into each other’s eyes for another four minutes without speaking.
In a poll conducted for the women’s website handbag.com, 83% of female participants believed that a purely platonic friendship could exist between men and women.
But, when probed further, one third said they secretly lusted after their male friends.
Dopamine, found in the brains of people who are addicted, is also involved. The level found in lovers is the same as that found in people experiencing obsessive compulsion.