“It’s a clear message either way.”While it can be tempting to want to wait it out—especially if the two of you seem to hit it off—experts say it’s best to cut bait and move on.
“Do not think that you will change their mind,” Durvasula says.
Not only are they using a lame excuse to manage down your expectations or to even passive aggressively communicate that they want out or that things are casual, but when you use this as an excuse, you’re talking yourself into managing down your own expectations. I even asked him if he was working for MI5 or running a country that I was unaware of. I’m not saying that people don’t have busy lives but using it as an excuse for why you don’t make an effort is bullshit.
You’re a valuable person in your own right deserving of love, care, trust, respect as well as time and effort. Behind every excuse is the real reason and the real reason is that aside from considering themselves to be ‘super-important’, they also don’t want to make the effort.
And now there’s a new one making the rounds: “I’m too busy for a relationship right now.” It has all the makings of a dating cliché, but experts say it might be more than just a flimsy excuse.“I actually applaud people who recognize that, because otherwise they are just going to frustrate a partner,” says licensed clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, Ph. Maybe someone is studying for the bar exam and barely has time to take care of themselves, or has a job they know requires all their time and energy right now.
Whatever it is, they’re able to recognize that diving into a relationship just isn’t sensible at this point.
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– So they’re so busy that they couldn’t find two minutes in their day to pick up the phone? It’s not about them making time for the ‘right’ person; it’s about them not only being available but also having the decency and a reined in enough ego to not actually think that it’s acceptable to treat someone in this manner.
In fact, he will be taking the initiative to make suggestions and set dates.
See it as a red flag if he is always ‘too busy’ for you, yet seems to have time to go out with his friends or is always posting photos from parties on Facebook. None of this “Hey, I’m out with some friends, wanna meet up? If a man wants to get to know you, he will put in the time and the effort to spend time one-on-one with you, and see what you are all about. I am not saying that he will refuse it on a first, second, or third date if he is really into you.
Being super-duper-busy all the time whether it’s them offering it up as an excuse or you’re making the excuse for them, is a rather big hint – it’s telling you that they don’t have time for the relationship and certainly don’t have time to meet your hopes and expectations, so you should be making an exit and moving on to someone and something where you’re more valued and not in their ‘queue’.
I bet they’ve found 5 minutes to sleep, use the bathroom, hang around on Facebook.
Does it matter how long it took to return your text? Below are a few general things to pay attention to when a man is courting you, that may help you realize whether or not he is really into you.